2020 so far…

JANUARY

Australian wild fires

59,00 buildings destroyed, at least 34 dead and 46 million acres burned. We should have gotten the hint that we’ve fucked up so much shit hit the fan.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quit as royal “senior” members

They got tired of the bullshit and hypocrisy, and still got to keep the money. Good for them!

The WHO announces a virus emerged in China

Not many people in the U.S. paid attention because this virus was only affecting people very far away. Most Americans can only feel empathy for something that affects them directly. Sad truth, but it’s the truth. Dr. Li Wenliang warned hospitals and his colleagues of the SARs outbreak in a message sent on Dec.30, 2019. He was silenced. Collectively humans don’t like to learn by their mistakes. Life is more enjoyable when there’s pain and suffering that could have been avoided.

Kobe Bryant’s death

Our toxic society and rape culture made a comeback, because clearly women need frequent reminders. The issue here wasn’t ignoring his accomplishments as an athlete, but people trying to use those accomplishments to diminish the fact that he raped a woman.

Impeachment trial of 45

Out of all the shit he had done the evidence of him pressuring Ukraine was the best they could find. Don’t forget to note that Tulsi Gabbard was present.

FEBRUARY

Killing of Ahmaud Arbery

Ahmaud was jogging in a Georgia neighborhood when three armed men: Gregory McMichael, a former police officer and investigator,his son, Travis McMichael and William ‘Roddie’ Bryan pursued him in a pick up truck until Travis fatally shot Ahmaud. In May, the father and son were charged with aggravated assault and murder. Days later, Bryan was charged with murder and attempted false imprisonment.

Harvey Weinstein was convicted of rape and sexual abuse

Well, we got one rapist…57,778,383 more to go.

Stock market crash

I was broke before it crashed, after it crashed and I’m still broke.

MARCH

COVID-19 Pandemic

Oh crap! Maybe we should have paid more attention. The virus is spreading across the globe…Oh shit we have an orange jackass for a president.

Breonna Taylor was killed at her home by police officers

Three plain clothed officers: Brett Hankinson, Miles Cosgrove, Jonathan Mattingly broke down Breonna’s door in the middle of the night to serve a no knock warrant, because they believed she had illegal drugs in the house. The police fired over 20 rounds hitting Breonna multiple times. She died on the floor of her hallway. Note that there were no illegal drugs in the house and nor Breonna or her boyfriend have a criminal record. Hankinson was fired. Cosgrove and Mattingly have been taken off the street. No charges have been filed.

APRIL

Kim Jong Un death rumors

He’s never been the healthiest person alive, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he already kicked the bucket. In May, N. Korea released a photo of him at a plant opening, because who would ever fake a photo? Who knows how alive he is, but his double must be worried: first he’d be out of a job and then probably killed for looking like the dead leader and tarnishing his image, because how dare you pretend to look like a former leader? This logic works in N. Korea – RIP double. Jong Un’s sister who’s second in command is probably pulling the strings on everything that happens.

MAY

George Floyd was killed in police custody

Officers stopped Floyed because he allegedly used a counterfeit $20 bill at a convenient store. Officer Derek Chauvin kneeled on Floyd’s neck for 7 minutes and 46 seconds, while Floyd was laying on the ground handcuffed. Floyd died an hour later.

Black Lives Matter protests

Protests didn’t start in 2020, but racist police officers keep killing black people for sport and get away with a slap on the wrist. So people went to the streets to express their first amendment right. Sadly, looters and people not associated with BLM took advantage of the situation to vandalize cities, and served it all to the media in a silver platter.

JULY

Ghislaine Maxwell arrest

A monster in heels was finally arrested. She should count not being suicided yet as the only mercy that she deserves.

AUGUST

Joe Biden becomes the Democratic presidential nominee

Let’s give literacy the props it deserves. He can at least speak in complete sentences, doesn’t brag about grabbing women by the pussy, and knows covid can kill.

Kamala Harris becomes the Democratic vice president nominee

Well obviously!

Democratic National Convention

Thank God Biden remembered he’s running for president. I see you Michelle…telling it like it is!

Republican National Convention

If you’d ever wondered what you’d look like after a lobotomy and thousands of dollars in plastic surgery.

Jacob Blake was shot 7 times by Officer Rusten Sheskey

An unarmed Blake was shot in the back by Offc. Rusten Sheskey as he got in his car and his three children sat in the back seat. Blake is paralyzed from the hip down. Sheskey is on paid administrative leave and still doesn’t face any charges.

Kyle Rittenhouse plays militia

17 year old Kyle traveled from Illinois to Wisconsin with an assault rifle in order to play militia an execute innocent people in cold blood, because being a decent human being was not in his deck of cards. He shot three people killing two. Kyle has been charged with five felonies and a misdemeanor.

SEPTEMBER

Jessica Krug

White Jewish lady from Kansas pretending to be a black Latina realized that her ‘black latina’ ass can’t call the cops without the possibility of getting shot. So she came clean.

Since so many crazy, bad, funny, and semi good things have happened so far in 2020 I might just keep adding to this list.