Imagine the sabotage if your cellphone was secretly in love with you

Antwan
Babe I’m running a little late.

Phone
Hey you make my booty itch with all your nonsense. we’re done.

Mara
What the hell? Your booty itches because you’re anti-lotion.

Phone
Well I hope that booty itches so much they have to cut it off.

Antwan
What? Babe you know I’m sensitive about my ashy booty.

Phone
Yea that was creative. Anyways, when can I come by to pick up my stuff.

Mara
Whenever I don’t have to see your idiot face anymore.

Phone
I’m already burning your shit. Since you like ashes: